ANECDOTES

(Because the truth isn't always true)

THE REASONS WHY I WILL NOT LIVE PAST 35

1: Every time I go to the movies I have XX large popcorn with XXXXX butter.

2: I don't go a day without eating something that was not alive once.

3: The only exercise I get is when I run to the front of the line for donuts.

4: I know I have enough butter on my food when my right arm starts to hurt.

5: I eat candy like it's a religion.

MORE REASONS WHY I WILL NOT LIVE TO 35

1: I like to jump off of things only after it takes me an hour to get that high.

2: I fight for people that can't fight back. Then I fight them because they can't fight back.

3: I play with a stun gun because when the pain is gone, and I can feel my legs again the look I get from the people from the bus stop is priceless.

THE LAST WORDS I WILL SAY BEFORE I DIE

1: I know what the hell I'm doing.

2: You don't have the balls to shoot me?

3: Honey I don't think it's the shirt that makes you look fat. I think you are talking about your ass and yes it is.

4: What the hell does this button do?

5: Do you smell gas? Let me light this match

6: Run for your life.

7: If one pill makes me feel this good god knows what fifteen will do!

8: It burns! Oh God it burns.

9: Is that all you got you pussy? Bring your friends I don't care.

10: Tell your mom that I said that she needs to stop changing the color of her lip stick I'm sick of having a candy can dick.

THE REASONS I WILL BE IN JAIL AT 35

1: I called the Coast Guard a buncha sea pigs.

2: I go up to cops, and asked them how much does a jail snitch make?

3: I drink for two hours then read all my Sin City comics and pick fights with the closes gang I see. To bad for me it happens to be the town’s boy scouts.

4: I can’t help but try to take over my neighborhood. With kids as my army.

5: I order pizza that I can’t pay for. Then challenge the delivery boy to fight for the pizza and the tip.
Two men enter One will eat.

6: I fight pimps for their ho's.

7: The more times I spend off my medicine, the more time I spend telling kids “I lurk under your bed at night.”

8: I tell every one on Myspace that my name is Sam and that I'm going to kick all their asses and rape their pets, then I give out the real Sam's number.

WARNING: Buckets of Blood is hosted on Comic Genesis , a free webhosting and site automation service for webcomics.